Locks

I changed the locks at my home yesterday. This has given me a little peace, but not enough. I feel safer knowing he cannot get into my home now, but I am still afraid. Even when the Sutter County Sheriff's Department called to let me know my son had been served, I was happy, I was sad, and I was afraid. This is a horrible combination to go through all at once. I know it will go away someday, but right now it is hard to function like this.

Terrified

I am writing this to help me.

Yesterday, February 16, I filed for a temporary restraining order against my son. I had to do this and there are those who would say I didn't, that I could let it go, but I am terrified of my son. As a boy, he threatened me with knives. He may have never used them on me, but he threat was real. He was physically abusive to me and his sister. So, he is living with me while he is on probation for beating up his girlfriend and when he gets angry at me and is unreasonable I get scared, scared for my life.

The only one who understands how I feel is the person who went through it with me.

Every time someone comes to my door I go into a panic attack. Every time I hear a car door open, I go into a panic attack. I am so afraid I cannot function. Even this is hard. I just want to sleep but if I do I am afraid he'll come in and hurt me in my sleep, or kill me.

This is why I had to get the order.